So Close and Yet So Far

Just as a quick catch-up....

Since October 22nd, we have been waiting on the one piece of paperwork that makes us court date eligible.  This letter comes from the federal MOWCYA office (Ministry of Women, Children and Youth Affairs, commonly referred to as "mowa", pronounced mow-uh).  The last time that I posted, I was sharing that MOWCYA staff were conducting an investigation and, as a result of that, no letters would be issued for up to 30 days.

As it turns out, the staff at MOWCYA were back in their offices in less than 30 days (praise!); however, late last week we learned that our case is, in fact, experiencing yet another "hiccup".

As a result of the investigation, all cases coming from ONE specific region must now be approved by the Director of that region's MOWCYA office (previously, anyone within the office could sign off on a case) before the case goes on to the federal MOWCYA office (where our paperwork has been hanging out since our Preliminary Hearing on October 22nd.

SO, as you might have guessed by now, our case came from the affected region.  What this means is that our agency's in-country staff retrieved our paperwork from the federal MOWCYA office and hand-delivered it BACK to the regional office for the director's approval.  Once that is done, the paperwork will make it's way (again) back to the federal office for that long-awaited final letter that will allow us to be scheduled for a court/travel date.

I'll be honest, I struggle to know how to end this post.  Yes, God's timing is perfect.  Yes, we trust in Him and it (His timing).  Yes, we are tired of waiting.  Yes, we long to meet our daughter.  Yes, we are thankful that you still care.  And, yes, we're okay....because she's worth it all!

There's nothing like adoption to teach you to depend on Him each and every moment of each and every day.

Difficult Week

It's been a roller coaster of a week for us in the adoption world.

As most of you know, our Preliminary Hearing was held on October 22nd.  We were expecting to receive word of our court date in 7-14 days but that did not happen.  As the days ticked by, it became more and more difficult to wait with confident hope (darn sin nature).  There were 6 other families whose PH's were held on the same day and four of those had received their calls.  In fact, as of today, all four of them have already been to Ethiopia and three of the four are back home.

I never knew how exhausting it is to live each day in anticipation, only to end each one in disappointment.  But now I know.

Once we didn't get our call right away, I was hoping and praying that our court date was going to fall during the week of Thanksgiving.  Both of our boys are out of school for the entire week and having a court date fall that way would allow the four of us to travel together to become a family of FIVE.  But it wasn't meant to be.

(Just as a reminder, what we are waiting on is a letter from the Ministry of Women, Children & Youth Affairs.  This final letter makes us eligible for a court date).  On Tuesday of this week, we learned that our agency's in-country rep went to the MOWCYA offices to check on the status of this letter.  What he learned was that that agency had pulled all of its staff and sent them to a region outside of the capital city to conduct an investigation.  (It is not uncommon, by the way, for MOWCYA to be doing investigations; it's part of what they do.  It is, however, unusual for them to send their entire staff).  He was told that the investigation (which began on Thursday of last week) would take up to 30 days to complete and, during that time, no new MOWCYA letters would be issued.

Though it wasn't the news that we ever wanted to hear (more delays, blech!), I have to admit that it has been nice to let go of the daily anticipation and just rest and live and prepare for the holidays.

And then Wednesday happened.

I received a call from a fellow adoptive Mom who has become a friend.  We have met on a couple of occasions and texted and talked quite often.  This family's PH was the same date as ours and they got a call that Friday and left quickly for Ethiopia on Monday.  While in Ethiopia, they appeared in court and were given custody of the sibling pair (brother, 8 and sister, 6) that they were adopting.  The judge declared that they were theirs.  They spent several days in country and then returned to the states to await the kids' travel clearance.  Exactly the way that it's supposed to happen.

However.....

On Wednesday, this family learned that custody of the children had been given back to the birthmom.  It is so hard to understand how in the world this happened.  And to know how to feel about it.  It is almost always in the best interest for children to be with their birthparents; I fully believe this.  But there is a family hurting right now who could use our prayers.  Please remember Thom, Lori, David and Katie.  And also "Y" and "G" and their birthmom.

Dear Little Sister,

I wanted to share with you the letter that our Jordan wrote to his little sister; he's quite the writer.  Enjoy!

Halle Yenenesh Williams,

As I type this, I’m sitting at my desk at school. It’s Saturday, November 16, 2013 and it’s a rainy Tennessee afternoon. You, on the other hand, are in Ethiopia, several hundred miles away from my side. You don’t know me, yet, other than the several pictures that we’ve sent you. And, I don’t really know you yet, either. I don’t know what your laugh sounds like, I don’t know whether you’re ticklish or not (although I REALLY hope you are), and I don’t know what it feels like to hug you. I don’t know what your voice sounds like when you say my name, and I don’t know what your favorite foods are. But there are several things that I do know.

For one, I love you. More than I’ve ever loved anything else in my life. Also, whether you like it or not, you’ve inherited a big brother who’s a bit of a hugger (just ask any of my friends). I also know that you are the most beautiful little girl I’ve ever laid eyes on. From the moment I saw the very first picture of you that me, your brother Braeden, and Mom and Dad ever received, I knew that you were special, created by God. I also know that He created you for us. You’re a Williams if I’ve ever seen one. I also know that I’m thankful that God has allowed me the ability to be a big brother again. This time, hopefully, the one you tell your potential suitors about, saying the words “You better watch out. I’ve got a big brother, and he has a beard.”

I also know that I can’t wait to hear your first words, whatever language they may be in. I know that the moment I first hold you, I’m going to ugly cry. So whenever you read this, I’m truly sorry for that embarrassment. I know that I want to see you ride a bike, play soccer, and guilt me into playing with you and whatever various dolls you may have. And just to dispel any doubts, no matter what I say, I will always love playing dolls with you. I know I can’t wait to hear you sing, even if it’s the alphabet, or “Jesus Loves Me”, or if I get my way, it’ll be something by Coldplay.

I know that I can’t wait to come to sibling days at school. I know that when you’re in High School, I can’t wait to take off work so I can come home to put the fear of God into some 16-year-old boy. I can’t wait to see you smile, as you take pride in the things that make you happy, those things you’re passionate about. I can’t wait to see you grow up not only physically and emotionally, but I can’t wait to see you praise and sing to the Father that brought us together. 

Halle, I don’t know when you will read this. Maybe you will read it at your wedding. Better yet, maybe I’ll read it at your wedding and ugly cry again (again, very sorry for that). But what I do know is this:

I love you. And you are my sister. There are many people in my life that I love with all that I am. But you, you are the only one that has ever stolen my heart and held it in your hands without ever uttering a word to me. I look forward to the years of laughing, the years of crying, and the years of tickling that lie ahead of both of us. So as I sit here and try to finish this letter through my tears of joy, know this.

I love you, and will always love you. Come home soon,

Your incredibly proud big brother,

Jordan Williams

What's In a Name?

It all started when I was pregnant with Jordan.  For months, while I was expecting, Jeff and I would email one another back and forth during the day with name ideas.  Names would drop off and others would be added; some would be starred as favorites and others would be made fun of.

Several months ago, while we were waiting for our referral, I resurrected this tradition.  We've had many, many email exchanges, actual conversations and considered lots of different names for our girl.

Before I share the name that we've decided on, let me explain more about our decision.

"Little Girl" ("LG" for short), as she was formerly known, obviously has an Ethiopian name that was given to her by her birth parent(s) and we want her to keep that, of course.  We actually LOVE her African name but we also know that there might be a time when she doesn't want to be so different.  (After all, there likely won't be any other Yenenesh's in her school).  And also because even though she's Ethiopian born, she's about to become a US citizen (both countries will forever be part of her heritage).  Because of this, it was our decision to give her an American first name and keep Yenenesh as her middle name.  As we've shared in the past, her Ethiopian name means, "good news" in Amharic (her native language).  With this in mind, one of the names that we were considering means "unexpected blessing" and we just didn't think that it got any better than that.

Soooo......

Halle Yenenesh Williams

it is.

We love it!

As a matter of a quick update, our Preliminary Hearing was held last Tuesday.  We haven't heard anything regarding the hearing and have been told that no news is good news in this regard  Typically, you would hear quickly if there was something missing or incorrect in your file so NOT hearing is a good thing.  It is our understanding that our file is lacking the final document from MOWCYA (Ministry of Women, Children and Youth Affairs) and once that letter is received, we will be given a court date.  Our caseworker seems to think that we will get that call THIS week.  A fellow adoptive family with our agency (who actually lives nearby) whose PH was the same day as ours, got their call last Friday and flew out yesterday (Monday); talk about traveling on short notice!!!  We are preparing ourselves for an equally short notice and I began gathering and pre-packing today just in case......will keep you posted.

Getting Closer

Two and a half months ago we saw Yenenesh's face for the very first time ever.  And, since then, while we wait for courts to reopen in Ethiopia, we've managed (so far) not to go completely crazy.  

It helps that we've been SUPER busy.  

And that God is faithful to sustain us during a time when there's absolutely not one thing we could do to change our circumstances.  Short of moving to Africa, I guess.

But now, we find ourselves REALLY starting to feel the reality, excitement and anticipation of what's about to come.  

As I shared earlier, our Preliminary Hearing (PH) is scheduled for next Tuesday, October 22nd.  We do not appear for this portion of the process, but our agency's in-country director and a representative of Yenenesh's orphanage will proceed on our behalf.  

The very next thing to happen following this PH (assuming that everything goes well) is that we are given a court date and, because we do appear at this hearing, travel dates.

I polled some of my fellow adoptive families (on our Facebook page) about how quickly this portion of the process went for them and was pleasantly surprised that it can be pretty quick.  I also emailed our Lifeline lifeline (pun intended) and was told that once the hearing takes place, it can take 7-14 days for a court date to be scheduled.  HOWEVER, she also pointed out that (because of the court's closure), there will be no backlog of cases.  We should be/are one of the first families with cases being heard once court reopens.  She recommended that we be prepared to travel on short notice - YIKES!

It is so surreal to think about the fact that we are finally fast approaching that moment when we will meet our daughter face to face.  

Please pray for our PH which will take place on the 22nd.  Technically, because of the time difference, it will happen while we are sleeping on Monday night.  

Pray for Yenenesh.  With as many emotions as we are feeling/have felt, I can't even imagine what's going on in her little heart and mind.  Adoption is a beautiful thing but ALWAYS comes with great loss.  Out of respect for her story, I will just say that she has suffered much loss and soon, though she will gain a family, she will lose everything else in her life that she knows, including but not limited to her culture, her country, her language; the nannies who have loved and cared for her and the friends that she has made at the Transition Home where she now resides.  Nothing here will look the same, feel the same, taste the same, sound the same or smell the same.  We must not forget that.  

Holding Pattern & An Opportunity For You to Be a Blessing

For you faithful readers (Hi Mom!:), you know that we are in a bit of a holding pattern at the moment.

To be honest, the timing couldn't be more perfect.

Imagine that, God's timing is perfect; hmm.

What I mean by that is this:

• Courts are closed until early October.  For some reason, just knowing that courts are closed, allows me to be in a more relaxed, less anticipatory place (because, obviously, I can't do a darn thing about that).
• Before courts closed, we were filed and logged in with the court system which means that we are avoiding the new PAIR process, which is such a relief.  I think the PAIR process will be a positive change but it will extend the length of time between court and Embassy.  Besides that, anytime you are the "guinea pigs" of a new program/procedure, there are kinks to be worked out.  I don't really like being a guinea pig.
• Our Preliminary Hearing date was scheduled (see last post); so, right now, there is really nothing else that needs to be done or that could be happening.

Couple all of that with the fact that we have commitments every single weekend in September AND that we are MOVING in early October.....it all just worked out to be great timing in the sense that we are at peace with where we are at this moment.  As it stands now, we can get closed, moved in and somewhat settled in the new house before we travel for court.  And, by the time, Yenenesh is home, we will be completely settled and ready to focus on her and on our family.

In the meantime, as I am trying to be organized in our plan(s) for future travel, I wanted to share something with our local friends and family; a way that you can help make a difference in the life of an orphan.

On each of our two trips (one court trip, one Embassy/homecoming trip), we will take donations for our daughter's orphanage and for the Transition Home where she lives now.  We have been given a current list of the most needed items and I wanted to pass that along to you all.  If you have or would like to make and/or purchase and donate any of the following, we will pack it all up and take it over with us.

Gerber Cloth Diapers (LOTS needed)

Cloth Diaper Covers

Hand Sanitizer (large pump bottles)

Liquid Vitamins (for infants)

Liquid Vitamin D

Vitamins for Children

Baby Powder

Elocon cream

Bacitracin

Anti-Fungal cream

4 large mosquito nets

Sterile Gauze

Sterile Gloves medium

Vicks Vapor Rub

Scrubs (for Nannies)

Thanks so much!  

Preliminary Hearing and What's Next

I recall being pregnant with Braeden and trying to explain to Jordan that there really was a baby in there and it really was eventually going to join us.  For a four-year-old, the concept seemed a little far-fetched at times, I'm guessing.

Kind of the same way that this adoption process must seem to some of you.  

I promise we really are adopting.

Some very faithful "followers" continue asking, "How much longer now?", "What are you waiting for?".  And then others, I think, have given up.  : )

For those of you who haven't yet checked out, we received word today that our Preliminary Hearing will take place on October 22nd.  We do not appear for this hearing.  In our daughter's case, it will be between a judge and the Director of her previous orphanage.  We are told that it is just a matter of formality in cases like hers.  

Once it takes place, the next thing we wait for (Do you see a trend here?) is our actual court date assignment.  We will travel to be present for this date (finally) and it is during this trip that we will meet our girl for the very first time.  Of course, we're hoping that this happens quickly following the October Preliminary Hearing but, as you might have noticed by now, nothing is predictable.

We would appreciate your prayers for a smooth process; one with no surprises and one that allows our girl to be home for Christmas.