Sunday, March 3, 2013

Waiting sucks...but it is worth it...

At this point, we are around 14 months into a 9 month wait (my estimates only) and I am constantly wondering how much longer we will have to wait...then I spend this evening looking at another blog from Tymm and Laura Hoffman and I come away feeling so encouraged.  I am learning more and more each day that my struggle with our adoption timing is related more to my own preconceived notion that our process is supposed to be fast, not difficult and easy because, let's be honest, I am a good person; I am doing something good; I am doing what God would have me do...right?  WRONG!!!  

My biggest problem with our adoption, if I am totally honest, is my own sinful belief that my life is supposed to be easy because I am a believer in Christ.  If that were true, then wouldn't everyone be lining up in this world to accept Christ as their Savior because they wanted an easier way in life.  No, the reality is that my life isn't supposed to be easy.  I am also not a good person; if you really knew the thoughts that go through my head on a daily basis, you would not want to be reading this blog right now.  In reality, I am just a totally screwed up person graciously allowed to serve a Holy and Merciful God because of His goodness and His kindness.  PERIOD.

While I do feel like I am doing what God would have me do in adopting an orphan from Ethiopia, at no point did God say to me "Jeff, if you do this, I will make it easy, I will make it last no longer than 9 months and I will make sure that you get exactly what you want."  That is what I heard...but that is not what God said.  Many good people told me before we headed down this path "you need to be prepared for the cleansing that will take place in you during this process."  Man was that ever true...I guess God still has work to do in me through this process.  While I would love for Him to deliver us from this process by giving me what I want, I am learning more each day to ask that He deliver us through this process and make us into the family he wants us to be in order for Him to receive the Glory He is due and so that things will be perfect, just like He is perfect.

 To quote something I heard over this past weekend from Ben Petrick, a former MLB baseball player diagnosed at age 23 with Parkinson's disease, "I am getting stronger at being weak".  Paul said in 2 Corinthians 12:9 "But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. "  I am learning this more and more each day.  I am also learning more each day that, in God's eyes, learning that lesson is more important than having things my way...that is something to lean on, even when things seem so tough.  

May God richly bless you...

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