Warning: This may possibly be the most "real" update ever written on this blog.
As promised, we received our monthly wait list update first thing this morning (I love our agency!).
And before I tell you what it said about our progress on the list, I want to tell you about the email that I received from Jeff immediately following the update email.
Jeff's email was simple and straight to the point. It simply said:
And to be totally transparent with you, I couldn't agree more.
I have tried, each month, to write each post with a positive spin (and, honestly, it hasn't been hard to do). Jeff once said that I was a cup half empty person and he was a cup half full person (he's in denial); I've tried to prove him wrong on that and I think I've been successful thus far.
All good things must come to an end.
We did move up on our agency's wait list. We are now #20.
We moved up one spot. ONE. Beats the heck outta none, right? Pshaw......
Seriously, we are beginning to become weary in the waiting. And though part of me feels totally selfish to put that in black and white, it is the truth. And this is our blog and it's what we'll have to look back on in years to come; to remember what we were going through and how we felt and, well, this is how we feel. So I write it.
I texted with my girlfriend this morning, half joking about how I intend to respond to the next person who says, "God's timing is perfect". (By the way, YES, yes it is). But really, I'm thinking of saying this: "Perfect timing....let me tell you about perfect timing....I think that it's the PERFECT STINKING TIME to kick you in the shins". I mean, really....I now realize how some of that perfectly logical la la "encouragement" sounds to people in their moment. Sorry....real post, my blog. Blah.
It's funny, really, how much we already love this little girl. The one that we don't yet know; the one we haven't yet seen; the one with some really cute clothes in her closet, an American Girl doll and furniture soon to be delivered. The one that we talk about and dream of and the one who it is beginning to physically hurt not to know.
Today, we're (only) one step closer. And today I'm not totally okay with that (as if it matters).
Waiting will definitely become even more difficult once we see her face and even though I know that as much as I know that, YES, God's timing is perfect, today it just sucks.